Breathe
by Crystalazer
Summary: The first rule of a medic is, Don't forget to breathe. KakashiRin. PostGaiden.


**Breathe**

**Disclaimer: **I claim no characters as my own excepting Aikido and Masai-sempai (but they're relatively minor).

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_The first rule of a medic is "don't forget to breathe." In a shinobi's time of need, the ninja that specializes in medicine is the single best thing for them. They must appear calm and composed at all times, and must waste no time in trying to save the lives of their patients. It is a difficult, but rewarding path._

Rin has always known she would become a medic. She remembers her mother telling this to her, then her academy sensei to her class, and now she's repeating it to herself over and over. She has trained herself to be able to look into her patient's eyes and smile and breathe and be able to tell them that it'll definitely be all right, even if it's a complete lie and that they won't be walking off the battlefield or out of the hospital anytime soon…or at all.

"It's a difficult, but rewarding path…it's a difficult, but rewarding path…" The words just keep coming, like a mantra that will protect her from the demons of reality. _Come on, Rin. There's still a pulse. You can save him. This should do it…come on now, breathe. Don't get hasty. You have time. He has time. Breathe._

Where is the reward? His breaths are becoming shorter, proof that he doesn't have time. It's not fair, she thinks, as she continues to push healing chakra through his bloodstream, trying her best to rid system of the poison. It's not fair that they didn't get enough time, that Obito had to die, leaving their team incomplete. It's not fair that they didn't get enough time, that Sensei had to die and leave Konoha incomplete. It's not fair that they didn't get enough time, that Kakashi might have to die and leave _her_ incomplete.

But the world isn't fair. The thought that he would die before she did had never crossed her mind. It wasn't that she believed him to be immortal; Rin was much too realistic and modest for that. It was just that he had always been the survivor. He could survive graduating the academy at age four, could survive the Chuunin exam, could survive his father's suicide and the scalding looks he got from his higher-ups, looks that weren't even his fault. He could survive sacrificing his left eye for Obito's safety, and now, here he was, about to die because he sacrificed himself and took an attack that was meant as a killing blow for her.

Kakashi was going to protect her as long as he lived. He made that promise to her himself, such a long time ago, and to Rin, that promise meant that he would be with her for the rest of her life, however short it might be. It didn't mean that at one point, he was going to _die _for _her_. It didn't mean that eventually, his breath would stop so that hers would go on.

Luckily, the attack came close to Konoha while the two were patrolling the borders for a high-level missing-nin that was reportedly seen around the area. She had managed to get him back within the village's walls after Kakashi had managed to decapitate the Nin with a Chidori while the blade was still in him, something incredibly dangerous as straining himself could kill him faster than the physical wound already was. It hadn't taken long for help to come once they were within the walls and in an ER ward where the surgeons had told her to keep him breathing while they ran a diagnosis.

_Breathe. _She willed, chewing so hard on her lower lip that it drew blood. _Please, breathe. Breathe for me. _His heartbeat was uneven and faint, and it was taking her all to make sure that it didn't stop altogether. In comparison, her heart was beating so fast from anxiety and fear that it hurt, as if it had been her who had taken the hit instead.

"The diagnosis is here." A young nurse opened the door of the ward and rifled through a stack of papers.

"What happened?" Rin asked, her eyes still on Kakashi's chest as she continued to try and regulate his heart rate. "Why can't he breathe properly?"

"It's his lungs," She pulled out an x-ray photograph. "The wall of his left lung is too thin, shredded by the angle of the blade he was attacked with. Oxygen can no longer pass through the trachea, making it difficult to breathe. He has been lucky to survive with it as long as he has been; but he can't hold out much longer. I'm sorry, Rin-san."

"No, no, that can't be it! There has to be another solution!" Rin frantically searched her mind for any piece of knowledge that could possibly save Kakashi's life. She should have approached this calmly, but calmly couldn't have gotten answers out any faster. "What—what about a lung transplant?"

"It will be impossible to get a donor on such short notice. There's no other way…" The medic-nin shook her head. "Unfortunately…"

Rin stopped. She knew it would come. Today was the day Kakashi couldn't protect her anymore. Today was the day he couldn't do anything to help her, to influence her decisions and guide her on the path she wanted to take. Because today, he _was _her decision.

There was no more need to be worried, or nervous, or scared. If this were what she needed to do to save his life, then she would do it without a second thought. "I'll be the donor."

"Rin-san…" The nurse looked nervous. "Are…are you sure? I mean, you can't survive with just one lung…and we can't swap lungs because it won't do you any good anyway…"

"I know that. And I am prepared to donate my left lung to him. Bring Aikido-san to continue to regulate his breathing. Then summon Masai-sempai to perform the operation."

The nurse opened her mouth as if to protest, but closed it again, apparently thinking better of it. Instead, she gave a little nod and turned to go. "Hai…Rin-san." Opening the door of the ward, she turned back. "Konoha will miss you."

Rin only smiled reassuringly.

_That is the price I am willing to pay._

_--_

"Are you positive that you want to go through with this operation, Rin?" Masai, the man who she had studied under for the last four years, smiled sadly. "I would hate to see you go so young, you know. Only eighteen and you've got so much potential. You've been like a daughter to me."

"I'm sure." Rin turned her head to gaze at the young man lying on the table next to her. "He means more to the village than I ever will."

"Now, don't say that, Rin. It may be Kakashi-kun who goes out and fights for Konoha, but you, Rin, are the one who keeps him fighting." The surgeon adjusted his glasses and looked thoughtful. "You love him, don't you, Rin?" He asked quietly.

"More than anything in the world. I guess that this is what fools in love do." She laughed gently. "Will you tell him something from me, Masai-sempai, when it's over?" The young medic beckoned her mentor closer and whispered something in his ear.

Masai smiled. "I promise."

"Thank you, Masai-sempai."

He lifted the oxygen mask to her mouth. "Have a good sleep, Rin."

Rin looked up and blinked back sudden tears. It wasn't Masai's face that she saw. She stared at Obito, who grinned and gave her a thumbs-up, at Sensei, who tapped her nose with his finger and beamed at her proudly, then at Kakashi, who cupped her chin with his hand and gave her one of his heart-breaking smiles that said, very plainly, "I'm not supposed to be worth it."

_But you are._

--

"Kakashi-kun, you're awake."

An older man with thick brown hair and smart, wire-rimmed glasses perched on the end of his nose walked into the ward with a clipboard tucked under his arm.

What the man said was somewhat of an understatement. Kakashi had been awake for quite a few hours now, trying to figure out exactly what felt so…different. It wasn't the scar on his chest; he knew he had gotten that during that last mission. No, it was something else. It almost felt like…something under his skin, inside him, had been changed.

"My name is Wasari Masai." The man introduced himself as he approached Kakashi's bedside. "I was your surgeon during the operation."

"What happened to Rin?" He asked. The last time he had needed an operation, and the time before that, and, actually, for as long as he could remember since he became Jounin, it had always been Rin who performed any needed surgeries. Why should this time be any different?

"Ah, well…" Masai looked at the ceiling. "The matter with Rin-san was very…complicated." He said finally, "You see, when she brought you back from your mission, you were already in great danger of losing your life. The wall of your left lung had been punctured by the katana your opponent used and could not be repaired. A donor could not have been found off the official records in the thirty minutes that you had left to live. Rin-san volunteered to be the donor."

He flipped a page on his clipboard and adjusted his glasses uncomfortably. "You've been asleep for nearly a week now, but fortunately, your new lung is working fine, so you should be able to go back to regular duty as soon as your body fully recovers—"

"So Rin is dead." Kakashi interrupted abruptly and Masai stopped mid-sentence and paused for a long while before responding.

"…Yes, Kakashi-kun. Rin was pronounced dead four minutes and thirty-seven seconds after the surgery took place."

His first reaction was to be angry with her, but he realized then that he could never be mad at Rin. Every particle of her being had been devoted to him and he, in turn, had sworn to protect her until his life ended. In the end, it was his protection that ended up killing her. Kakashi almost laughed at the irony of it all. Obito had given him his eye. Rin had given him her lung. What had he given back? With all the genius he possessed, he still could not find the answer.

"She shouldn't have done that." He said finally. "She should have let me die."

Masai shook his head. "You know as well as I that it would have been impossible for Rin to allow the man she loved to die before her eyes. It is, in the end, inevitable that she would have done anything in her power to save your life, even at the expense of her own." He turned to go. "I will let you rest now, Kakashi-kun." Sliding open the door, he stepped into the hallway and stopped.

"Rin told me to tell you something."

"What?" He was almost afraid to hear it.

"Don't forget to breathe."

--

_Fin_

_--_

**Author's Notes: **I know absolutely nothing about lung transplants (other than the fact that it can and has been done), so a whole lot of this stuff is probably inaccurate and I should have done my research, but I didn't, so...nothing we can really do about it. Anyway, I got this idea after listening to Michelle Branch's "Breathe" on the radio the other night. It just kinda popped up spontaneously and in the very first stages of its being, it was actually a case study on Rin, but evolved into above fic. I kind of fail at staying with my agenda.

The plot was kind of dinky, I know, but I thought it would be sort of symbolic. Kakashi sees through Obito's eye and breathes through Rin's lung. It's kind of the three-in-one package, yeah? ...uh. Yeah.

I don't generally use OC's of my own in fanfiction (they're usually reserved for roleplaying) but in this case, I had to write one in. See, the story behind Masai is that after Yondaime-sensei died (Kakashi and Rin were fourteen, according to the canon timeline), she went back to full-time duty as a medic-nin and studied under him for a couple of years and he's become her surrogate father, sort of.

All right, I'll stop with the extensive Author's Notes now.

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_


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